How My Blog Works

TO READ MY BLOG ITS QUITE SIMPLE.. THE OLDEST POSTS ARE AT THE TOP
THE NEWER POSTS ARE AT THE BOTTOM. THAT WAY THE POSTS ARE IN ORDER

In Depth Views.

  My dad passed away when I was two years old of a benign brain tumor, and after that my mom started using heroin and cocaine, on and off for years. When she was high, she’d always get paranoid. She’d keep me up at weird hours of the night.

    If you had seen me at school, I was always the happy guy. During the day I’d be laughing and joking. But I literally created an alternate personality for myself. Then I’d come home from school, bring my dinner upstairs and not talk to my mom. I would lock the door to my bedroom.

       I don’t live with my mom anymore. I left last year after I got in a fist-fight with my stepdad when he and my mom were on heroin. I called 911, and the cops came. I took the train down to my boyfriend at the time’s house in Croton. The first thing I did was cry on my boyfriend’s mom’s shoulder. I stayed at his house for a while. From September to January of last year I missed 47 days of school.

       But then I moved in with my aunt in Red Hook, in Dutchess County, last year. This is the 14th time I’ve moved in my life. My boyfriend had wanted me to ask my aunt to move in with her, but I was raised never to trust her. But everything I was told was wrong about her. I knew living with my mom before was bad, but I didn’t realize how bad until I left. I needed an outside image of it. My aunt actually cares if I go to school or who I’m hanging out with. I never had that before.

       Since my boyfriend and I broke up, I’ve dated lots of people. All guys. I identify as bi but lean more towards the guys. I’m more attracted to guys, but I’ve had sex with both guys and girls. I had a girlfriend and the first person I’ve ever had sex with was a girl.

When I first came out to my mom, I said “I kind of have to tell you something.” She said, “I probably can guess. You’re gay.” I said, “No, I’m bi.” My mom said she supports me if I like guys or girls. She came with me to Pride before.

      I’ve been out since eighth grade, but when I came to Red Hook, the first few weeks of school I didn’t come out about being bisexual. But then I brought up the subject of LGBTQ and asked my new friends what they thought. This one kid said, “I can’t stand them. They’re all fairies.” I said “I’m bi, and you’ve been hanging out with me the last two weeks.” After that we became friends and now he’s slowly starting to understand that. It was top news because it’s a really small school.

       Red Hook didn’t have a Gay Straight Alliance, so my aunt encouraged me to start one. I made it my mission. This November we got it approved.

     Now, I’m a senior and I’m in the midst of applying to college. I would like to apply for SUNY New Paltz. I’m excited. I’m also kind of worried. With my previous school record. it’s kind of rough. With my lifestyle with my mom, I’d always push everything to the last minute.

My mom and I are on talking terms. She knows I want her to go to rehab, but she says she’s fine. I said I need her to go. Right now she’s not working. Surprisingly she’s able to convince the government to give her disability.

      I have an outlook on drugs where I don’t want to go near them. I once got high on pot and it was the worst mistake of my life. I tried and felt like I was going to become my mom.

I think my life is starting to level out. I’ve realized that I’ve had trust issues, self-esteem issues, lying issues. I want to work on stuff on my past and be aware of it, but I don’t want it to come up again.

Interview, 2011

As told to Diana Scholl.
Photo by Laurel Golio, taken in Stony Point, NY
To tell your story, email hello@wearetheyouth.org

1st Chapter.

Let's start off so. 19 years ago a beautiful woman gave birth to a baby boy. Her Life was happy, she was married to the man she grew up with.
    She named her new baby boy, Thomas George Dougherty. Life was good then, she was the image of what a perfect mother could be and a good role model to her son.
      Until 1994.  See the man she grew up with and married, was told that he had a brain aneurysm (tumor). When Thomas was 2 years old his father had past away, His mother being she was so young ( 29), she didn’t know how to react to the news and thought her only escape from the pain was by taking drugs. Little did she know that very choice will cause her son (Thomas) to grew up with out his mother and father.

My name is Thomas and this is my story. 

i wish there was a way my mother would realize what has happened to herself and how it effected my choices and my way of living. I wish she would realize how the lies,betrayals really effected the way i lived my life. Maybe if i could go back in time, i can change the image that i  have drilled in my head of my mother of the kitchen sink with a needle in her arm, as i went to go get a drink for my friend or how many times i would have to take care of her when she was sick with Cotton Fever. the more and more i think about it i will never go back in time it made me who i am. Granted, i wasn’t perfect after i live. 

When I turned 16 i found myself leading to guys and ending up falling in love with one. we “dated” for a year. “Open-relationships” Never work… 

When i Turned 17 i feel in love with the boy i believed at the time was my savior and i believe my world was in his hands. He helped me escape the life i was living, with my mom.  I realizing the truth about myself and the mistakes i made after the very choice. Who would have ever know that i lived a life of lies. Everything i did was wrong, i lied to cover up things that i didn’t want others to know or when the presser of a mistake i have done has gotten so big, i would lie about it over and over again causing my “savior” to leave me. Cause it to lead to the biggest mistake of my life. the lying continued on and on as i tried to move on. i ending up leaving the person that i really cared about a lot. a person that hates my guts. a person that i lost. 

I’m writing this to put the past away and so everyone can read it. I’m done with the lies and i finally am able to open myself and know who i am. and I’m no longer going to put myself last to (Drugs/(boyfriend/Counselor)/Money ) < for how my mom put me. I am not bisexual. I am proud of who i am. My Name is Thomas George-Frederick Dougherty i am 19 years old and i am gay. (Sorry mom.) ….

Hope i put this to rest. I love you all

- Thomas D. :)  

2nd Chapter - Losses Part 1

When i think about loss. i think about, everyone that was in my life that is no longer in my life
let's go through my list of losses

2 years old - when I was 2 my father passed away from a Brain Tumor, he was 29 years old. I really don't remember him. But from the videos, I can tell he really loved me.

Question I ask myself if he was still alive.

1. Would I have brothers or sisters.
2. How different would my life be?
3. Would he accept me for being gay?

These are the questions that bother me everyday.


Also when I was 2 years old, I lost my mother. Not from death, but from drugs . After my dad died my mother took, his death really hard and didn't know how to react to it, so picked up cocaine and Heroine. After that I i lost my mom for 19 years..
When I was 5 years old, my mom went away to rehab.

When I was 8 years old, my uncles friend Harry had moved out and moved away from the family.

Harry was my uncles friend that lived with my family, he was like a father figure in my life.


When I was 13, the most important person in my live had died, my grandmother was everything to me. She was my mom, she was my world. She was always there for me, she understood me. Christmas of 2003 her and my uncle got into a car accident, and she past away. Ever sense then I've never been the same.

Also when I was 13 my best friend Lewis and I had gotten in a fight due to him hanging out with the wrong crowd of people and sense then me and him aren't friends anymore due to the fact him and those other boys beat me up in the middle of town.

As the years went on, countless friends betrayed me, spitting me out of their lives like I was a peace of gum

When I was 16 years old, I was in 10th grade. One day I walked in to home room too find out via the school tv channel. That my best friend ever sense 6th grade. Had passed away.

When I was 17. The boy that i committed myself to for a year had told me he was leaving me. That we were over. after everything we had went through he ended it without a thought.

2nd Chapter - Losses Part 2

When I was 17 years old, I had to move from Kingston to Red Hook, leaving all my friends from 6th grade.

Also I find out my friend Olivia, from Kingston high school, had skipped school with her friends to go hiking and fell off a cliff and died from the injuries.

18 years old, I fell in love with this boy that made me feel complete, he gave me everything, and I treated him like shit, I don't know why. But I let him go, and lost him! I lost him for a boy I liked, that left me on Christmas Day, so he could start using drugs again.

Let's skip to when I turned 19, January 1st to be exact. I met this boy Maxwell, the sweetest young man, I had my mom argue with the NYPD just so my mom, max and I could get a police escort to the center of time square, just so we could watch the ball drop, right next to lady gaga, Justin Bieber and pitbull. Well after that night and a month of him living at my house. I checked myself into the hospital and lost connection with him... We talk but we won't be as close as we were i don't think. :-/

While I was in the hospital my mom got put in jail... Good thing?? Idk. How did I find out she got arrested ??? Front page of the paper was her face!

So while my mom was in jail, my step dad Peter the guy she was dating for 17 years dies, from liver failure..

I'm just going to do bullet points from now on


-Have to sign a statement that will hold my mom in jail
-mom gets released from jail
- mom gets put in rehab.
-mom gets discharged from rehab
-moms homeless in manhattan
- mom gets put in physic ward
- mom gets put in another rehab.
- mom completes that and is back to a normal clean mom....
-mom and I are getting alone... Seeing a clean new caring side of her I've never seen before..

Mom goes to trial and gets put back in jail, $15,000 bail. And is looking at 15 years in jail....

There are two other Douchbags I don't really want to add in this blog. Because they both don't really know how I feel . How ever they both were my best friends and my ex's
Soo that's chapter 2 for now!

Chapter 3 - love / dating. Also my description of what is love is.

Chapter 3 - Love / Dating / Experiences part 2

For my 17 birthday, (Boyfriend 1) throw me a surprise Brithday party. At that party he introduced me to his boyfriend. Which really made me upset and hurt, because I wasn't over him. His boyfriend wasn't from around Kingston. He lived 90 miles south, and had taken a train up to see (BF1). This boy understood that I was upset and was upset at himself for it. I decided I was going to go up and talk to this boy and get to know him. The whole night the boy ignored me. Until it was time for him to catch the train. My phone had received a text message. Saying "I shouldn't be saying this but. When I first say you, I saw the colors of my universe change and I saw our colors match" and from the point me and (BF2) couldn't take things slow. We remained together for a year he helped me in so many ways. He helped me get the courage up to finally leave my moms house , until the day I ended up sleeping over and eating dinner with the kid that was going to be my replacement.

After months and months of trying to move on and get over (BF2) I tired to move on as quickly as I can I could dating a boy around my area that just wanted a hook up after

Chapter 3 - Love / Dating / Experiences part 1

I started this endless train along time ago, in this chapter basically I'm going to describe my love life and my different experiences.

Let's go to the smallest corniest thing I did when I was little.. I think red flags should have went up about my sexual orientation.

When I was 5 years old, I said my neighbor who was also 5, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours. At that same moment, his mom over hear us and walked me home telling my family I was never allowed over again....

When I was 13 years old I was a curious. I met this girl, actually this girl met me, and chased me all around the playground. Little did I know my friend liked this girl. Which caused a fist fight in the middle of school. In the end, I got the girl, and was suspended for 5 days, what fun! Anyway, after spending a night on the roof of my house, watching every drunk guy stumble out of the bars below, and watching the sun set and rise, I was no longer a virgin
When I was 15 I ended up dating my best friend from 2nd grade. Also know as the girl that hurt me the most in relationships. After all we went through I ended up being her fallback guy.

At age 16, i started discovering who I am and started considering myself as Bisexual... Ended up dating my first boyfriend, a year before us finally dating I considered myself a homophobe, and ended up telling my first boyfriend, to "get the hell away from me you stupid fag".... Yeah... One year later we were dating.. Leading the my first time being with a guy. Both romantically and sexually. This boy ending up cheating on me countless times, and mentally abused me numerous times. Not saying I was an angle but I wasn't as bad as he was to me... Anyway!! From now on he will be known as Boyfriend #1