Friday, July 27, 2012

2nd Chapter - Losses Part 1

When i think about loss. i think about, everyone that was in my life that is no longer in my life
let's go through my list of losses

2 years old - when I was 2 my father passed away from a Brain Tumor, he was 29 years old. I really don't remember him. But from the videos, I can tell he really loved me.

Question I ask myself if he was still alive.

1. Would I have brothers or sisters.
2. How different would my life be?
3. Would he accept me for being gay?

These are the questions that bother me everyday.


Also when I was 2 years old, I lost my mother. Not from death, but from drugs . After my dad died my mother took, his death really hard and didn't know how to react to it, so picked up cocaine and Heroine. After that I i lost my mom for 19 years..
When I was 5 years old, my mom went away to rehab.

When I was 8 years old, my uncles friend Harry had moved out and moved away from the family.

Harry was my uncles friend that lived with my family, he was like a father figure in my life.


When I was 13, the most important person in my live had died, my grandmother was everything to me. She was my mom, she was my world. She was always there for me, she understood me. Christmas of 2003 her and my uncle got into a car accident, and she past away. Ever sense then I've never been the same.

Also when I was 13 my best friend Lewis and I had gotten in a fight due to him hanging out with the wrong crowd of people and sense then me and him aren't friends anymore due to the fact him and those other boys beat me up in the middle of town.

As the years went on, countless friends betrayed me, spitting me out of their lives like I was a peace of gum

When I was 16 years old, I was in 10th grade. One day I walked in to home room too find out via the school tv channel. That my best friend ever sense 6th grade. Had passed away.

When I was 17. The boy that i committed myself to for a year had told me he was leaving me. That we were over. after everything we had went through he ended it without a thought.

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